Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
