Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize