Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
