ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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