saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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