Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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