i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
