I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
