I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
handjob tips. give me some.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My ass is underappreciated
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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