....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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