i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
