need another drink. this is the easiest way
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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