Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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