Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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