Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
