They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize