high people should be assigned attendants
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
