Say something about gay babies.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
