I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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