awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
