i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
