Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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