it's too hot outside to masturbate.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize