I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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