so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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