Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
