and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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