she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
