i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Sorry about my life...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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