I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize