I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
