Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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