Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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