i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
