the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just found a bag of teeth...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
