She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize