I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize