yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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