Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
