As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
