I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
