what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
