I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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