I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Two words: nipple clamps
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