I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
