some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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