And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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