Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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