I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize