and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
