I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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