I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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