Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So much rum. So many feels.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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