WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i think i scared a bird with my dick
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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