We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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