omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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