yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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