come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I can't turn off my feet"
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
