just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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