Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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