you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
