no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Randomize
