the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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