Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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