yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize