I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
