His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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