My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Randomize
