remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
