I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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